I'm a total Happy Wheels fan, much like everyone else. I prefer the only game, but I don't mind playing the old game because they're the same thing.
Anyway, I saw the mailman delivering a package while I was playing Happy Wheels (I like how you can play the levels in i- wait, how can you play the game without playing the levels? JC, you idiot). I went out to check the mail and it had a disc in no packaging, next to a letter. It was from my gay boyfriend, Kyle. The letter looked exactly like his writing, except it was scratchy, so I couldn't easily recognize it. I passed it off as a boyfriend glitch and went into my house. The letter said, "Tom, don't play this game. It's Happy Wheels, except there's blood everywhere." I played the game and for some reason the title screen had the fork lady swinging her arm faster. I passed it off as a glitch. The game had hyper-realistic blood every time my character became killed or smashed (BAD GRAMMAR ROCKS!). I passed it of as a glitch and then played more. Then I realized that the blood realisticness level was on 4. The end.